“Right for Me: Why I’m Chained to My Christmas Tree”

January 7th, 2012 at 1:21 pm by admin

Quote of the Week: “Rule #1: Use your good judgment in all situations. There will be no additional rules.” ~ Nordstrom’s Employee Handbook

My Christmas tree is still up. Yes – it’s the last week in January. Yes – in years past I have had the tree down by the second weekend in January come heck or high water. Yes – a part of me wishes everything was neatly tucked away in the attic, preserved until December rolls around again.

And part of me is happy the tree is still gracing my living room. What? Really? Shocking, right? It’s a rule of God and nature that all Christmas decorations should be taken down by January 10 or some other arbitrary date, isn’t it?

This year, December was manic around our home. My husband is a pastor, so December is a crazy month for obvious reasons. With two young children, we had parties, Christmas programs, and holiday get-togethers almost every evening in December, plus a nasty bout with the flu. We didn’t even really get to enjoy our Christmas tree, except for the day we put it up. Read more

Recharge and Rejuvenate Yourself and Your Practice: Take Time Off

January 3rd, 2012 at 12:00 am by admin

You’re busy, crazy busy. There’s too much work to do for the hours you are in the office, and when you get home there is a whole other list of to-do’s. For lawyers, it’s very hard to take time off. You have to prepare to be away, and when you return you have to play catch-up. So many lawyers never take time off at all or just take a day here or there.

Yet failing to take some time away to unplug has consequences for your work and your sanity. When we are constantly pushing forward and never giving our mind or body a chance to rest, our work and our health suffer.

But when we make some time to get away, even for just a couple of days, we are able to press the “reset” button on our minds. We return to the office and to our regular schedules refreshed and renewed. That makes us sharper, more creative, more responsive, and generally nicer to be around.

So consider planning some time away. I’m not suggesting an extended six-week jaunt to France, but just enough time to feel like you have rested that whirling mind of yours.

You could take:

An extended vacation (2-3 weeks)
A four-day weekend
A full weekend (both days)
A day or two off during the week
Even a half-day here or there

As you can, put this time away on your calendar and in your schedule. Alert others that you will be gone during this time, and try to unplug as much as possible. I know it may seem impossible and you may feel a little twitchy, but once you come back to your work refreshed and ready to take on the next big challenge, you’ll realize what you have been missing.

Remember: it’s not just about you. Your clients, your colleagues, and your family and friends will all benefit from your time spent away from work allowing yourself to unwind that tightly coiled mind and overworked body of yours. Enjoy, and don’t feel guilty!

Happy New Year! Talk Nicely To Yourself!

January 2nd, 2012 at 11:17 am by admin

It’s that time of year again — January 1. The New Year! Time for making resolutions, but will we really keep them? Or will they end up like so many other New Year’s resolutions from years prior, forgotten by January 15, but regretted all year long.

Are you spending time reflecting on your 2011 resolutions? Do you feel disappointed that they were not accomplished? One of the main reasons that folks just like you and me do not achieve their goals is because we set ourselves up for failure by using negative self-talk.

What is self-talk? Whether you actually talk to yourself outloud sometimes (c’mon, admit it!) or just keep a conscious or unconscious running dialogue in your head, we all have mini-conversations with ourselves all day long. But if you are wanted to be open to the wonderful things coming into your life this year, or the fantastic things that you are going to create, you must be positive in your self-talk.

Here’s what some positive and negative self-talk can sounds like:

Positive Self-Talk

I can do this.
I can learn this.
I am worthy of this, and I am good enough.
I can and will do what it takes to accomplish my goal.

Negative Self-Talk

I can’t do it.
I can’t learn it.
I’m not worthy, and I’m not good enough.
I don’t have what it takes to accomplish this goal.

You must consciously decide how you are going to respond to and process all of the information that comes at you each day. If you spend time living in the past and telling yourself how rotten you are in a variety of ways, then no wonder you never achieve the goals you set! You must stop training your brain to become the person that you tell yourself you are. You are magnificent! Good or bad, your brain will create habits that reinforce the story you are telling yourself about who you are, what you are capable of, and what you are worthy of.

So if you use positive self-talk, your brain will literally help you become the person you want to be. If you use that same old negative self-talk, then your subconscious will also keep you stuck in the comfortable but probably bad habits of the past. The sooner you start to talk nicely to yourself, the sooner you will be on the path to reaching those goals — at the New Year or any other time. You can do it — now tell yourself that, too!

(For more info about self-talk, I recommend the book “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter. My husband laughed when he saw it on our shelf, but it is really a positive and important work.)

Tags: self help
Posted in Mindset, Success Coaching | Add your comment

Get Involved and Get Ahead

December 26th, 2011 at 12:26 pm by admin

“You must get involved to have an impact. No one is impressed by the win-loss record of the referee.” ~ Napoleon Hill

Those who get ahead professionally and personally are those who are involved, who act, who do the work and get the results. But with only 24 hours in each day, the thought of getting involved outside of legal work and home life sounds unrealistic and impossible.

Usually service-oriented or interest-oriented groups are filled with other busy people, so they don’t require a ton of time. Some of these groups are: local bar associations, charitable or cause-related organizations, Rotary, Kiwanis, your Chamber of Commerce, volunteer groups, book/scrapbooking/etc. clubs, biking/tennis/golf clubs, and any other groups in which you have an interest.

At first, it may feel like, “Yeah, right. Where am I going to find another two hours a month?” Yet when you become actively engaged in things outside of your legal work and start giving a bit of yourself in other ways, amazing benefits can occur. Here are a few:

If you are doing something with other lawyers, you are networking but in a more interesting way than a traditional “networking event.”
If you are doing something non-legal in the community, you’ll be connecting with non-lawyers and building visibility in your community as a lawyer and person who cares enough to get involved. This could lead to clients and referrals.
Since you are doing something other than your day-to-day legal work, you are adding some necessary balance to your life.
Hopefully you are only saying “yes” to involvement in things that are enjoyable, meaningful, and interesting to you, so you are having fun. That’s always a good idea.
If you are working with existing or former clients, you can connect with them outside of “work” doing something meaningful, and this will create stronger relationships, loyalty, and client relations.
Giving of yourself to a charity or cause you believe in is great for the psyche. It makes you feel good about yourself and your ability to help someone else.
It’s a win-win. You are benefitting for all of the reasons above, and if you are volunteering time with a worthy cause, they are benefitting, too.

So next time you think about getting involved with a group or cause, don’t immediately dismiss the idea. Lots of great connections, friends, clients, and general happiness can come from getting involved in something that interests or excites you. Remember, you must get involved to make a difference for yourself, your practice, or your community. Sitting on the sidelines doesn’t do anyone any good.

Tags: self help
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Out With the Old, In With the New!

December 23rd, 2011 at 3:12 pm by admin

It is the final week of the year. How are you doing?

Are you swamped in last-minute holiday preparations? Are you dashing out to the overcrowded malls to try to grab the perfect (or any) gift for everyone on your shopping list? Are you finalizing the menu for your holiday get-togethers?

In this time of busyness and rush, I’d like to invite you to reflect on a few questions. Not only is the final week of the year a time of tasks and to-do’s, but it is also a beautiful opportunity to celebrate what is most important. Family, togetherness, spirituality, hope, endings and beginnings.

I invite you to take some time in the coming week, ideally prior to the start of the coming year, to sit back, relax, grab a pen and paper, and ponder some important questions. If you can give some time and energy to answering these questions, you can receive the gifts and lessons of the closing year and set yourself up for a coming year that fulfills your hopes and aspirations.

Here are some questions to help you reflect on the year that is ending:

What are you grateful for?
What did you learn (about yourself, others, your work, etc.)?
What are you most happy or proud about completing?
What remains incomplete or unfinished?
What would you need to do before the end of the year to feel complete with the year?
Where did you show courage in the face of fear or anxiety?
If you had to sum up the year in one word or short phrase, what would you use?

Here are some questions to help you look forward to the coming year:

What advice would you like to give yourself for the coming year?
What would you like to learn (about yourself, others, a new skill, etc.)?
What would you like to accomplish or complete?
What talents would you like to explore in the coming year, or what new things would you like to try?
What would you like to change or improve about yourself?
What do you want less of in the coming year?
What do you want more of in the coming year?

After you have thought through these deep and meaningful questions, you may want to pick a word or phrase that could be your “theme” for the coming year. When my clients do this, they often choose words like:

ease

grace

balance

focus

release

joy

hope

peace

fun

strength

Whatever word feels right to you is the right word. If you decide to choose a word like this, you may want to write it on a card to carry with you or put in a visible place.

However you choose to reflect on the past year and move into the coming year, I encourage you to seize this opportunity to close this chapter with reflection, learning, and gratitude as you move into a fresh year full of possibility!

Tags: balance family & work, goal setting, self help
Posted in Articles | Add your comment

« Older Posts

“Right for Me: Why I’m Chained to My Christmas Tree”

Recharge and Rejuvenate Yourself and Your Practice: Take Time Off

Happy New Year! Talk Nicely To Yourself!

Get Involved and Get Ahead

Out With the Old, In With the New!

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